I have wrestled with this so much. Honestly, I am not even sure posting this is the best idea. Here is your warning: you will probably be very angry when you read this blog.
Alright, I warned you….
So, many readers have asked me what the first ending to His Retribution was. Now, I did completely delete the chapters- they are forever gone. But the content is still there in the back of my head.
I’m just going to come out and say it- I KILLED AZALEA.
There.
I admitted it.
I killed her.
I wrote the whole ending.
She died, Liam went crazy, things exploded. It was messy. It was terrible.
AND IT WAS WRONG.
I finished the chapters, set down my computer, and immediately regretted all of it. I knew it was wrong and not what would really happen. I would like to chalk it up to a funky mood or frustrations with some of my less than friendly commenters, but that is probably a bit disingenuous.
Looking back, I think I went a little stir crazy and power-mad when I was writing. Sometimes, it feels like characters write themselves and you, the author, are just their vehicle. I struggled a lot with that while I was writing His Retribution. The characters were driving my plot and it wasn’t going the way I planned in my head.
Maybe killing Azalea was me trying to take back control? Maybe I just wanted to be finished with the book?
That is definitely possible. Spending so much time constantly wrapping your head around the same characters can be a little taxing. When I wrote His Redemption, there wasn’t much pressure in terms of holding to an update schedule. My book wasn’t very popular so there weren’t as many people shouting from the rafters about updates. Plus, I wasn’t signed with Stary yet. Now that I am signed and the series has so much of a fan base, the pressure is much more intense. (I love you all so much, but the guilt is stronggggg sometimes.)
So yea, I killed her. I killed Azalea then Liam went on a total rampage. He hurt Damien and Maddox in the process of trying to kill Warwick. Maddox wasn’t the one to come to Missy’s rescue and I never made them mates either. Vlad died too but I didn’t feel his ending really gave his character any justice. All in all, it was a fiasco that I just couldn’t put out in the world.
I know a lot of people didn’t like the major cliffhanger and wanted more questions answered. I think many of you might agree the cliffhanger is better than the original ending, though.
There is still a lot of story left for Azalea, Liam, the Blackfur children, and Blood Eclipse Pack. I hope that His Retaliation will bring justice to a lot of these storylines. Who knows? There may even be some story floating around for another pack as well.
Danna
October 30, 2021 - 12:22 pm ·I don’t think I could take it if you killed Azalea! I do love this series….you are a great writer….I wish I could write stories.
Allie
October 30, 2021 - 12:36 pm ·I think had you left that ending you would be doing yourself a massive disservice! You are an amazing writer and the His series is so addictive….as is! Im so excited to read more. You created something great and clearly you realized quite quickly that the ending you had wasn’t it and I, for one, am grateful for that! Your writing is awesome. I look forward to reading more from you!
Vicky
October 30, 2021 - 6:02 pm ·Love your sharing. Just finished His #2 & I am in so deep. I can see Azly wolf being Cleo, the legendary wolf in female wolves of White Moon!! Ugh give me more Quinn!
Trisha Nichols
November 6, 2021 - 11:16 pm ·I came upon the His series on Facebook and I usually don’t go on to read the books but it gripped me so good and I couldn’t put it down! I’m dying waiting for the next book! The cliffhanger at the end of the second book had me hooked to find out more! You are an amazing writer, when I read your books I can see the story and that’s really hard for a writer to accomplish with their audience. Can’t wait to read the next book!!
Jamie Lee Kirk
November 4, 2021 - 5:13 am ·You can’t kill off Azalea!! It’s no big loss about Vlad he kind of deserved it and Missy and Maddox make really cute mates… There has to be more than just the 3 books, there just has to be… I am hooked on the HIS series and Azalea make it so intense it is with it.. it was a shame about Gwen, I was dying to see if Azalea would let her out after 6 years but I guess we will never know!!! Please QQ your books are amazing and I love the series… Don’t do it too us, You can’t kill off Azalea…
Krystal
October 30, 2021 - 12:38 pm ·Oh my… really glad you decided against that ending
Kas
October 30, 2021 - 12:45 pm ·Wowzers! I can totally understand that ending, but I’m glad it didn’t ‘fit’! I’ve always been so curious about the writing process, but I feel like more of a devourer than a creator. I don’t know how you make the magic happen, but you ABSOLUTELY have a magical gift! It’s a burden that is both blessing and curse, I guess, and the nature of the app provides access behind the curtain, which is awesome and weird. I understand the frustration of having critical readers lashing out (social media is harsh sometimes!), but I hope you don’t let it get to you too much. Thank you for sharing your gifts, and for sharing your process as you can! I’m so thankful for you and your characters!
Amarelis
October 30, 2021 - 12:46 pm ·Yes when you killed her off I have to say I was hurt and unimpressed because your story was beautifully written to end that way! However I believe in you and know with the new cliffhanger is definitely better than then original and I look forward to His Retaliation and to more Liam and Azalea and everyone else! I can’t imagine the pressure is fans can put on you as an author!
Gee Geronimo
October 30, 2021 - 12:48 pm ·I am so glad that you took a moment to reevaluate your previous ending and your mindset while writing it. Honestly, I’m glad that you did it though. Sometimes, we need the dark to see the light. Not everything is rainbows and unicorns. That’s why my heart is invested in Azalea. Some people complain that she is too demanding or always puts herself in positions that she shouldn’t, but that’s what makes this imaginary character “human” to me. We all make decisions in the moment that we look back on and think that we should have done things differently…even amazing writers too! It’s the love and support of others that help us get through those choices we make. I can’t wait to read where your dark and regrettable writing leads you to because I’m positive that your light will shine through the words on the pages.
Megan
October 30, 2021 - 12:57 pm ·I think you made the best decision by stepping back and reevaluating the last chapters. I know we as your loving fans put a lot of pressure on you but you as the writer knows what is best for your books. I am so glad you went in the direction you did and can not wait to start reading the next book!!! I love you as a writer
Debb
October 30, 2021 - 1:14 pm ·Um wow! The cliffhanger made me bonkers but it’s better than killing Azalea, there’s so much more to their story! You’re amazing and I can’t wait to read more!
Samantha
October 30, 2021 - 1:16 pm ·So glad you didn’t go with the original ending. The ending you used seemed more genuine. I love the story as is and it seems to be true to who they are and what is going on. Keep being a great author true to your characters.
Charlotte
October 30, 2021 - 1:21 pm ·Oh my goodness!!! Thank you for changing the end in His Retribution. You are the first writer I’ve ever read through the online platforms. (And to be honest, the first romance or even shifter romance story I’ve read.) I’m loving this series and your writing! It is hard to be under pressure with deadlines and critics, so never feel bad when you need to take a break. I feel it’s important to focus on the positive and let you know that you are doing an awesome job. Thank you again for redoing the ending, I hope to see so much more with these characters.
Emily W.
October 30, 2021 - 1:24 pm ·I have absolutely fallen in love with your writing and characters. Even though I would have cried if she had died I still would have loved your book. However, I will say that I am so glad you did not in fact let things play out that way! You are a fantastic writer and I cannot wait to see what you create next!
Jen Cooperman
October 30, 2021 - 1:24 pm ·While I am in agreement with the other comments here and very thankful you changed the ending of the story, I think what this says more than anything is what a great writer YOU are! You have given us characters that we are so invested in. Sometimes I have to remind myself that these people don’t exist because I’ll find myself wondering what is going to happen next with Missy and Maddox, Azalea and Liam and all of them. Thank you for bringing these characters to life, for finding wonderful story lines even if they diverge from your usual intent, and making us, your readers, avid devotees of these amazing characters. Nov 15th can’t come soon enough!
Jacquie
October 30, 2021 - 1:27 pm ·So glad you did not go with that ending. Anxiously awaiting His Retaliation. You are an amazing author!
Tina
October 30, 2021 - 1:33 pm ·Maddox and Missy not being mates would have killed me and the whole progression of their relationship wouldn’t have made sense. Thank goodness but please don’t break them up now haha
Annica
October 30, 2021 - 1:35 pm ·I am so glad you didn’t kill her off! I love her character, as well as Liam’s and am very invested in Maddox and Missy now too. Sometimes you have to make a wrong turn to know which way is the best, and it sounds like this is what happened! So excited for the third book! 🙂
Annica
October 30, 2021 - 2:58 pm ·I also have to say that I feel there is so much more to explore with the characters! You’ve done an amazing job at bringing them to life! I’m very excited to see what you do with it. I’m (not so secretly ) hoping to see more Maddox and Missy, I’d love to see Azalea improve her relationship with Robert and Robert to respect her more as a leader in some way, Maddox interacting with Liam and Azalea since his parents are dead (I loved Maddox and Liam’s interactions at the end of His Retribution), and I love the hint at the new pack – maybe Maddox and Missy taking over for Emma and Langston? I’m very excited to see what you do with it!
Melissa
October 30, 2021 - 1:57 pm ·This is the true sign of a writer: Sitting back and taking stock in your work; the journey, the process. We, as fans, could take a step back and realize the person behind the book is a human and is pouring their heart and sole into those pages; instead of complaining about missed updates etc… keep on keeping on!! And we will happily be along for the Liam and Lea ride.
Sherry Beckmann
October 30, 2021 - 2:48 pm ·I am so glad you decided to go with the cliffhanger ending. I would have been so upset if you had killed off Azalea. I have grown to love all the charters and love reading about them. The “His” series is what got me back into reading. I am a true fan and am willing to wait for the stories and updates so that they come out how you want them. I am excited to see what you have in store for all of them in book 3
Kiarra D.
October 30, 2021 - 3:03 pm ·The cliffhanger is way better than the original story line you had. If the story ended the way you originally had it then I probably would’ve been upset, but I thought the cliffhanger left at a great point!! The His series are amazing and I can’t wait till the His Retaliation is released. Im excited to see what’s in store next for all the characters. You’re doing a great job!!
Courtney
October 30, 2021 - 5:01 pm ·I’m glad you didn’t kill her off and pull a A few certain writers who love to kill everyone off. I’m so excited for what’s to come. And thanks for getting a book nerd back into books!
Joanie
October 30, 2021 - 6:52 pm ·One of the things that make an amazing writer is to be critical of the work put out, reevaluate, and take the time to revise for what feels right. An amazing writer will listen to their gut, and go with what works- that is exactly what you did, and why we all love you and your work.
I love that you shared what you wrote originally with us… we as readers are so invested in your story, and your characters, it feels right knowing what could have been. I am beyond thrilled to know that the HIS Series is picking up again, believe me when I tell you, I am so picky about what I read, I am such a critical reader about writing technique, that I can’t just read anything and enjoy it. Your work is my release at the end of an exhausting day spent with 15 3 year olds (I am a PreK teacher). Your have an amazing talent for character development – you bring your characters to life in such a way that readers love/hate, get angry/cheer on, sympathize/empathize, and invest themselves into them. You have skills, serious skills as a writer, it’s not something everyone possesses, however, many on that platform try to achieve.
Thank you for sharing your gift with all of us! Can’t wait to read on. I’m so thrilled to have something to look forward to at the end of the day. Reading and writing is a passion of mine, and you are helping me drive it.
Carrie
October 30, 2021 - 8:20 pm ·Oh my thank GOODNESS you came to your senses!!!lol I have really enjoyed Liam and Azaela’s story since the beginning and cannot wait for His 3!!! They deserve their HEA;)
Marta Magdalene
October 30, 2021 - 9:46 pm ·I’m just glad you have taken some time and reevaluated “His Retaliation” .Many of us would have a hard time handling it. . Your books are awsome and you have a talent (you sure know that) so dont let any negativity influence you. There is a difference between constructive criticism and just “plain ol bitching”.
Sanding lots of good writers vibes. Cheers!
Marta Magdalene
October 30, 2021 - 9:49 pm ·Fyi. You are my first “fantasy-werewolf story” and let me tell you I need it in my life. Thank you
Nagaluchmee Chinan
October 31, 2021 - 2:53 am ·DAMN!!!
So happy you left the cliffhanger rather than that ending…It would have been an injustice to Azalea after all that she has been through…
Looking forward to more of Liam and Lea and their emotional reunion with the family especially with the kids…
It’s hard but try to ignore the stupid comments and focus on the more positive ones…You know like in a camera you have the functions to blur the background…Just like that
Jakarta
October 31, 2021 - 10:02 am ·So glad you changed the ending. I am glad you took a pause at that time and got it together. I am also glad you changed your mind about Missy and Maddox
Shanna
October 31, 2021 - 12:03 pm ·I am so glad you changed the ending. I also really didn’t mind the cliffhanger. It made me want more and I knew that you would do the story justice. Plus I figured you would totally write a third book. You are an amazing writer. Ignore the rude comments. They are not worth your time or creative energy. Your series is what made me love fantasy/werewolf books. Keep up the great work. Love to see more about Missy, Maddox, Liam, Lea and Damian in the next book. Never rush your talent. When it comes it comes. So excited.
Jilyana
October 31, 2021 - 1:54 pm ·Having to go through what you have I can just imagine. You have created an amazing storyline and your readers have definitely fallen in love with these characters, especially Azalea. I will admit I would have been very shocked had you killed off Azalea, but your cliffhanger to me was great… it left me wanting more and I’m not a patient person lol. Can’t wait to read the next book and see where this goes. Thank you for creating an amazing story
Sara
November 1, 2021 - 7:11 am ·I am so glad you didn’t end the His series like this. His #1 was the first book that got me back into enjoying reading again. You are an amazing writer. Thank you for continuing the series.
Teresa Wallace
November 1, 2021 - 11:34 am ·I am glad that you shared this with us. I love the different perspective that you had then compared to how you feel now. I am glad that you didn’t let the silly haters take away your joy of writing because you have done a marvelous job and I will support you . I am in love with all of your books. You are an amazing writer. Keep living your very amazing dream fabulous superstar author that you are. ❤️
Rebecca
November 1, 2021 - 1:51 pm ·I admit it. I was a little with the cliffhanger at the end of His Retribution. But after you wrote the comment saying that there was going to be another book, I didn’t mind the cliffhanger. This series is the first books that I have read on this app. And I’m glad I had. I love the way that you wrote this books and I’m on the edge of my seat waiting for His Retaliation to come out so that I can start reading it to see how things go in the book. And looking forward to reading your other books that are out already to read and your future books that will come out
Amanda
November 2, 2021 - 11:37 pm ·Hey there!!!
I just wanted to drop a line and say thank you! I love these stories and characters so much! I remember a time when waiting for the daily update to book 2 was all I could think about and I’d cross my fingers the system might glitch and release an extra chapter or two I also wanted to say that I really appreciate you sharing your writing process with us! Books are an evolution and sometimes you have to allow yourself that freedom to explore the “other” story to help unearth from within the story you actually want to tell.
Absolutely stoked for book 3!!!
Side note: A friend and teacher or mine helps people to further explore and evolve their writing skills if you have any interest!!! If I were to equate your writing experience above to this class I envision “write the opposite of what should happen” (or something more eloquent but you catch my drift) being the writing exercise/prompt. They do workshops similar to the writing “exercise” experience you shared with us in your blog, where you had to write it for a million and one reasons before you could get back to the story you wanted to tell. Thank you for remaining “Quirky”!!!
https://writing-gym.com/weeklywritingreps/
https://datewiththemuse.com/about/
Joanna R
November 3, 2021 - 12:58 pm ·I can understand the pressure! I’m hooked on the story and need closure. I’m glad I didn’t read the ending. I would’ve been heartbroken.
TayC
November 9, 2021 - 1:54 pm ·I prefer the cliff hanger over this ending!!!! thankful you choose not to end the book this way!!!! YES, take some personal time to reconnect and keep her alive! Haha
Kim
November 19, 2021 - 1:11 pm ·I have read your books on the recommendation of others. I really got addicted to it. I read both books in 7 days. I’m really, really glad you didn’t kill Azalea, but I honestly expected that we would lose someone that war. I say we are secretly a bit of us all right?